The greediest blog on the net.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Spring Break Wednesday
As I said last time, I woke up feeling ok. My left contact was on the bottom of a cup, so I had to put in a new pair. Also probably a good idea since I wore them for about 23 hours straight.
Once refreshed, I checked to see whether the door was cleaned. Nope. Fuck Holiday Inn. The first thing I did after going downstairs was to suggest that they clean it.
Something I noticed right off was how windy it was. The Weather Channel said 25-35 mph all day. And 50 degrees! Needless to say, there was no one outside, on the beach, or by the pool. Plan B?
We went to Port Isabelle to have lunch with my friend's friend at her store, which was opening on Friday. She said it would be a good day for Matamoros, Mexico. Viola, Plan B.
Matamoros was about 25 miles away down SR 48. It was my third border town after Nogales and Tijuana.
We parked in Brownsville right by TSC (Texas Southmost College) at a meter. The meter was very reasonably priced: 15 minutes for a nickel, 30 minutes for a dime, and an hour for a quarter. I plugged in my spare change, but then it ate my quarters because there was a two hour limit. That's the greed.
We walked across the Rio Grande via the $0.50 toll bridge. Once across, we were given a map and accosted by taxi drivers. We meandered our way to the market area. They had such products as region 2 DVDs in Spanish (including Mexican porn), ripped Mexican CDs, pinatas, fruit, conk-shell necklaces, "lead-free" silver, and swords. I got some Patron Silver (not a great price, but better than here) and a tiny glass chess set. My friend was looking at some wrestling masks at one store. We got a taxi back to the border.
The fare back across was only $0.30, which was a good surprise. Customs was much more thorough than in TJ. I had to open all my bags, unwrap stuff, and empty my pockets. My friend got the same treatment. I won't go into detail, but I got to chat with the TABC guy (after he collected my $0.98 tax) for about 45 minutes, and it's a good thing he didn't buy a wrestling mask or Mexican porn.
As an aside, TX residents are allowed to bring a quart of liquor back, but non-TX residents are allowed to bring a gallon. Cigarettes are taxed, but cigars are not. Cuban cigars are confiscated and there is a $50 fine.
On the way back, we stopped by the Port Isabelle HEB for mixers, limes, and a knife to cut the limes. With the bottle opener, we were slowly amassing a kitchen. The pizza box from the previous night made a good cutting board.
Taco bar again for dinner. Still good, but getting kind of old. While waiting to pay, I swear that some OU guy yelled, "Aye... Aye dawg aye!" about 30 times to someone that was obviously ignoring him. Fuck OU. The door was clean by then.
That night we went to Tequila Frogs. I was fairly sober when we got there, so I remember it a little more. That's about opposite of what it should have been. Until about 11:00, there ratio was at least 20:1. Bad times. It was at this point that the great vodka tonic experiment began. That's all we drank that night so as to avoid any kind of hangover. (It worked.)
We went upstairs because it was enclosed and still cold and windy outside, eventually ending up in a pseudo-VIP area (a side room with couches). Some girl that was giving a ... err, dancing with, a guy said she was in charge of it or something. Random people came in and out... mostly guys. At one point, my friend bought some beers for underage guys from Austin and Sweden, which were promptly confiscated by the test-tube-shot-waitress/Nazi. The Swedish dude said he gets to fly anywhere internationally for $100 and anywhere in the US for $50. I'm guessing that's heavily subsidized.
The upstairs really started to fill up, so I went downstairs to piss. No one else in the bathroom. On the way back, I stopped to get more drinks and Robyn from Real World San Diego was by the bar, making that task nearly impossible.
Big Aside: On that season, she was by far the worst looking after Cameron and the Asian girl. However, there she looked ok. Her face was really different, her hair was a lot longer, and she'd lost a lot of weight. Her DDs were still comical, but were actually out of proportion after the weight loss. Still not great, but not the repulsive skank from the show. I DVRed the Inferno II for some reason (confused about Pimp My Ride?), and she's a "Good Guy" on that show despite being thrown into jail for battery during her season. I guess that given all the Real World and Road Rules people, that would be in the top 50% for behavior. During this particular Inferno II episode, she was having an argument wtih Tonya from Real World Chicago. IMHO, Tonya is the hottest girl ever on MTV. Ever. By far. She is also fucking nuts. Robyn was back to looking like she did on her season of Real World (that is, not good at all). Hmmm.
They eventually kicked us out of pseudo-VIP to let Robyn and her posse take over. It was really amazing to see how these D-list celebs (Mark from some other Real World season was there too, but I don't know who he is) were treated as royalty.
My friend went downstairs to use the restroom, and they wouldn't let him back inside. After a while, I tried to go outside, but they weren't allowing that either. Funny isolationists. I did eventually work my way outside, where we were stuck in the cold wind for the rest of the night.
Well, might as well have been as girls started dancing on the stage at that point. Lots of dancing, nearly no flashing. Booo. Yep, a while of that. Eventually, a Girls Gone Wild wet t-shirt contest started. I had a very good vantage point -- cold enough to be splashed by water, making it freezing out. The girls were quite obviously professionals for at least four reasons: (1) they were all dressed identically in the t-shirts and jeans despite the fact that about 5% of the girls were wearing jeans; (2) I didn't see any of them before or after the contest, and there were few enough girls there that I'd definitely notice that type of talent; (3) they were all very tan all over; and (4) there was no prize of any kind, yet they endured the freezing temperatures to bare their wares. So when you see that crazy footage on the commercials, keep in mind that they are most likely not random girls but are professionals flown in for the occasion. Still, I don't think there's such thing as a bad wet t-shirt contest (I say that with a bunch of caveats). I got some pics, but I keep this blog safe for work.
I had to go to the bathroom again and this time there was a line at least 20 guys deep just to get in the door. By the time I was at the front, there was some guy from New Jersey pissing all over the sink. Great. Didn't wash my hands.
More of the same until we took off. I was disappointed that I didn't hit on too many girls, but there weren't that many there and I think I was burned out from the previous night. My friend got some girl's number, I think from Indianapolis and named Katie. I probably should have been wingmanning it, but her friend looked really pissed off as a default. She was also being hit on by other random guys I was glad to let at her.
I got another free t-shirt that Puckers was throwing to the crowd. There were near fights over many of them, but it just landed at my feet and I picked it up. I was unable to barter it for anything I'd like better.
We took a cab back to the hotel (again $2 each) and that was it for the night as far as I recall.
Posted by Gel 9:42 PM Post a Comment
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